wow

Well today is the first day of spring and it is snowing.
I found out yesterday someone very dear to me died (yes, people die they don't pass away in my life). I really am amazed how sudden it felt even though I had not seen him in years (like 5). He was my neighbor as a child I remember so many things about him. Then I am jolted back, and as I sit I think about my memories and how some seem so distant, but some so close. I have been doing a lot of education about dementia lately, and I sit and think about what I'll be like if I get dementia. What memories will I re-enact, what memories will drive me to act. What memories will I crave.
Life does not last long enough. In the end who are close? Your spouse? You, God, the Pet? Who else do you need? When you don't remember you have kids do they really provide comfort? Seriously I'm a parent and so often my "job" is to protect them, comfort them, is it their job to provide comfort to me? I have always believed that it is my job to make me happy, no one elses, is that true of comfort also?
Well, I think I am way to analytical today for the first snowy day of spring.