wow

Well today is the first day of spring and it is snowing.
I found out yesterday someone very dear to me died (yes, people die they don't pass away in my life). I really am amazed how sudden it felt even though I had not seen him in years (like 5). He was my neighbor as a child I remember so many things about him. Then I am jolted back, and as I sit I think about my memories and how some seem so distant, but some so close. I have been doing a lot of education about dementia lately, and I sit and think about what I'll be like if I get dementia. What memories will I re-enact, what memories will drive me to act. What memories will I crave.
Life does not last long enough. In the end who are close? Your spouse? You, God, the Pet? Who else do you need? When you don't remember you have kids do they really provide comfort? Seriously I'm a parent and so often my "job" is to protect them, comfort them, is it their job to provide comfort to me? I have always believed that it is my job to make me happy, no one elses, is that true of comfort also?
Well, I think I am way to analytical today for the first snowy day of spring.

What a weekend

This weekend was an unusual one. Saturday Jacob and I went to a funeral-of someone neither of us knew. Jacob was asked to do the Bell Ceremony for this fallen firefighter (in a nearby town). I have never been to a fireman's funeral before. I've been to a military funeral, but it's a bit different knowing what the family's life must be like. This was a volunteer firefighter, so I am well aware of their life and their family's. Jacob and I took a fire truck to the services (weird to ride in, by the way) as we drove I thought about a lot of things-one being how LOUD the truck was, the other was more spiritual...no one really knows what it is like to be a fire family. No matter how much people try to understand, but it is just not something you can explain. Knowing that the pager can go off anytime, and he can be gone for an unknown amount of time, and when he returns he may be drained. My kiddos know the tones of the fire department and the ambulance department. They know that daddy may say he'll be back soon, but he may not be back before bed (even if he leaves at 9 AM). They know that if mommy is working any number of people may be picking them up and taking them. They do not know that daddy could get hurt on any call at any time-I am very aware of that. I know exactly what to say when I put them to bed and daddy is on a call. We know that when daddy is at work that he may not be available to answer the phone. We know that part of our family must be those connected to the three emergency services that we are connected--no one else really knows what days are like when "duty calls". I just kept thinking, the family of fire fighters' family members understand always being on call. It's a bit like opera (as Richard Gere says in Pretty Woman) those who love opera will always love opera, others may appreciate opera, but they will never love it-- the same is true of fire fighter families-people may know what happens, but they really do not understand the go with the flow attitude and commitment to the service fire fighter's families have. After 20 minutes we finally arrived. We sat with the fire department all dressed in their funeral stuff-white gloves, black ties...the fire engine that the casket would ride on was complete with the black and purple flags, as with the other engines from that department. He had no wife, no kids, just a lot of friends, sisters, nieces, and nephews...so much for my insight for the wife...
Levi played hockey! He stopped 15 out of 25 the first game--his team lost 0-10--his team took 2 shots on the opposing team and they played a total of 2 minutes in front of the opposing goalie. Second game Levi stopped 25 of 36 (one of which his own teammate shot on him) again they lost 0-10 and they did not shoot at all on the opposing goalie, and played only 5 minutes on the other side of the center line. He was ok with the losses, but still they need to score.
Baseball meeting was Sunday teams are set! yeah!!!!

comfy

Well, I am working a bit late tonight and have just a few minutes left....Much has been happening and I will post some movies of Levi playing hockey one of these days, I also have a little clip of Jas playing Just Dance on her Wii (on second thought...). I have several updates:
We spent a wonderful weekend with Jas and her family-although not all were healthy, we still managed to have a great time. Our kids are just perfectly aged, Benjamin and Albi had a great time. It's really the first time that Benjamin has someone exactly his age to play with (except at daycare) so it was really fun to hear them talk, laugh, and play.
Levi has had a hockey game and is really doing well. He REALLY hates to be scored on, so he doesn't goalie every game, but man does he get a workout. His team is not really good at scoring. The last game Levi blocked 38 of 48 shots. The other goalie blocked 10 of 14. A little lopsided, huh? He just keeps plugging away. We are careful not to push too hard. Soon t-ball will start...
Gosh it just seems that we are much busier than that. Honestly, my mind has finally turned to mush, I must go home and to bed-I've been here all day...